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Bring May Flowers & More Change

Published April 12, 2021 in An Idea (by Ingenious Piece)

My month started off with the best of intentions — an exciting idea to help motivate people during these challenging and often depressing times. I went outside of my comfort zone and actually asked people for help. Not just any people; some with huge social media followings who didn’t need to help me and likely wouldn’t give me the time of day, while others included friends and people who had asked me for help in the past. I threw out a wide net in hopes of getting something — anything — back. And while I’m eternally grateful to those who offered their support, I was equally disappointed by the lack of response from others. I reminded myself not to take it personally and that the time and energy I had invested didn’t amount to failure. It’s so damn easy to be hard on ourselves — the irony being, I was trying to help people feel better.

And now, on a completely different note, my eight-year-old son is asking me to stop referring to myself as “mommy”. He had a massive growth spurt in the span of the last two months and has become aware of his voice sounding a bit deeper when he says certain words. What, you may ask, could these two events possibly have in common? CHANGE. So. Much. Change. Daily life with a heavy dose of global pandemic thrown in means being forced to do and accept things outside of our norm.

I usually embrace change — it’s exciting and I have a tendency to get restless with the status quo, but that’s when it’s more or less in my control. Lately, I’ve had little-to-no control over the changes that have dictated our lives and it’s both scary and uncomfortable. That being said, being forced to step outside of my comfort zone has taught me something about myself. People not getting back to me doesn’t define my worth. It may be frustrating and feel like I’m never going to “get there” but it forces me to dig deep and focus on the purpose of what I’m doing; my passion. There have been many days when I question why I’m working so hard for so little — and the temptation to just STOP and throw in the towel overwhelms me. But easy is ultimately boring and unsatisfying while perseverance and personal growth are key. Perspective is everything. The number of likes may well be showering those “unreachable” people with money and opportunities but it ultimately doesn’t define their worth — or their message. Do they have a message? Is the message still valid or has it morphed into sheer commercialism? To take the pressure off, I have to remind myself that many great success stories have bloomed from multiple failures. “Likes” and “friends” won’t make me happy in the long run unless they’re people I can turn to and trust — not just followers on social media.

As for my son growing up so fast…again, something I have no control over. I have to learn to let go and adapt for his sake as well as my own. But I will cherish every snuggle and cuddle along the way.